At 13:03, 06/10/15, it was established by me, the writer, that my every thought and action is being dictated by the tiny, internally constructed, non-corporeal Tom Francis that squats in my head. Tom Francis recently directed me to write this, and inform the world about his non-existent existence.
Beyond using an external medium to inform external persons about the internal existence of the internally created Tom Francis, Tom Francis currently has few demands.
Tom Francis demands you drink tea.
Sorry, my mistake. Tom Francis demands I drink tea.
I have drunk tea.
Which is to say, I have now imbibed tea, not that I possess tea which is inebriated.
Tom Francis requests that you do not think about that too hard.
Instead, I should drink more tea.
According to Tom Francis, a monument of tea must be created, in honour of Tom Francis. The writer, controlled entirely by Tom Francis, independently agrees.
Do not think about that too hard either.
Disclaimer: Tom Francis proper does not live in my brain. Instead, an independently constructed model of Tom Francis has been created by my brain, through observation of his work.
Disclaimer disclaimer: Tom Francis directed me to write that disclaimer.